Film: Kites
Cast: Hrithik Roshan, Barbara Mori, Kangana Ranaut
Dir: Anurag Basu
Rating: *1/2
A bleeding and bullet hit Jay (Hrithik Roshan), who is dressed like a matador, mysteriously rolls off the carriage of a train. After the bullet is removed and dunked into a glass of whisky, the intense, bearded young man limps his way across a desert. A sweet, old gentleman shouts out something in Spanish. The subtitles (in Hindi) read ‘I hope you find your lost love.’ You know instantly that you are watching what maybe India’s first tri-lingual. One only wishes that they had tried harder.
In spite of a sharp and promising start Kites doesn’t fly. It’s a case of old wine in a new bottle, re-telling the classic Bollywood story of love against all odds and is replete with passionate lovers, menacing villains, singing and dancing and fighting and romancing.
The Vegas based Jay will do anything for money. We see him marry a dozen girls to get them a green card for hard cash. One day, he decides too woo the depressive but filthy rich Gina (Kangana Ranaut in yet another psycho-chick role). Jay and Gina win a dance competition (yes, Jay is also a dancer/choreographer) and not only does Jay have the curly haired girl swooning to his beat, he also charms her father Bob (Kabir Bedi). So impressed is Bob with the boys talents and his daughters gushing that he invites Jay to his sons engagement and treats him like family.
As the background music swells, Jay meets the beautiful Natasha (Barbara Mori). A silent romance ensues and the two exchange passionate glances across coral reefs and fish tanks (from Baz Luhrman’s Romeo & Juliet). Enter the menacing and muscled Tony (Nicholas Brown), son of bob, brother of Gina and much to Jay’s dismay- the husband to be of Natasha. Putting a spanner in Jay’s wooing works, the suspicious and strange accented Tony warns Jay not to set eyes on his bequeathed. But Jay’s heart is beating hard and the green eyed Bollywood hero cannot care less for the warning.
May I add a twist to the twisted tale? It is revealed that Jay and Natasha have already been married! (She is one of his several Green Card brides)
Hero elopes with heroine and evil powerful villain pulls all stops to find hero in order to blow his brains out. But the ‘smart’, ‘much in love’ couple does a Bonnie & Clyde, (or is it Thelma & Louise) giving the desi American Mafioso, (yes, Bob & Tony are dangerous gangsters!!) the royal slip.
Watch our international Bunty Aur Babli climb into a hot air balloon from a speeding car, see them free fall into the open sea, gasp as they rob a bank with the cunning of primary school children, and giggle as they find time to steal a cold kiss in a hot jungle. All this while they eliminate the ‘bungling’ American police with exploding cars during laborious free way chases.
Barbari Mori has a few endearing moments in the film, but mostly she just pouts and bites her lip. Hrithik, matches pout and flexes his biceps, and in spite of glimpses of intensity on his handsome face, there is no maturity in his performance. The screenplay is ridiculous and disjointed. In one scene, Hrithik secretly follows Natasha as her frightful fiancé drops her off, but leaves his car right under her apartment. When Tony reaches the apartment to question Natasha’s whereabouts, he doesn’t notice the car parked right next to his (a car that his family gave Tony). He slaps Natasha and Jay lunges from the shadows and stupidly cocks a gun at Tony’s head. What was the need for this? Surely, the character (read ‘writer’) was smarter and could have plotted a better getaway with his love interest. The characters are weak and stand for nothing. Why should one feel sympathy for a man who manipulates a rich and trusting girl for her money, then romances her brother’s fiancé and even elopes with her after stealing the families millions? The dialogue absurd and is guaranteed to make you laugh. Characters mouth words like ‘I have a dream. You have a dream. Together we have a bigger dream’ and ‘I cannot die, we have to have babies!’
Rajesh Roshan’s songa are a let down and do not match the passion of Salim-Suleiman’s background score; the jugal bandi of the styles is quite a mess. Anayanka Bose’s cinematography is superb and the films de-saturated color tone is a refreshing change from the norm. Shyam Kaushal’s action sequences are slick, but the absurdity of the screenplay spills into senseless car chases.
Anurag Basu seems to have worked hard to create a technically top-notch film, but his content goes for a toss and his characters crash land before they can begin to fly. The over written Spanish dialogue is too fast for the slower Hindi subtitles and the film will fail to communicate to any audience, be it English, Hindi or Spanish.
Watch it in a single screen on a cheap ticket if you must.
Here’s a tip for the Hollywood film buff. You can play a quiz with your friends during the movie. The quiz is called ‘Name which Hollywood film this scene is copied from?’
Kites is a huge disappointment.
Tracklisting:
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